Competition between women..
Is a little a good thing?
She seems to have "it" .. that fashion sense, on and off the court. She knows how to entertain, her house is gorgeous, in fact everything about her is gorgeous.. and her kids.. perhaps they out-rank yours in sports or academics..
She always looks so put together.. her hair and make up, her dress, the way she walks.. she radiates confidence.
Girls begin to learn about their individual style early in life. It's interesting to watch the dynamics of a group of middle school girls... copying each other, trying to figure out who they are.
Girls begin to learn about their individual style early in life. It's interesting to watch the dynamics of a group of middle school girls... copying each other, trying to figure out who they are.
"She must never eat to stay that thin... Surely she's had things lifted.."
via
She's so lucky.. The FRENCH bombshell
Brigitte Bardot
Enough of that talk :)
...you may not have a face like this.. but I KNOW there is something pretty on your face.. your eyes? your high cheek bones?.. discover your beauty (inside and out) and emphasize those qualities.
Enough of that talk :)
...you may not have a face like this.. but I KNOW there is something pretty on your face.. your eyes? your high cheek bones?.. discover your beauty (inside and out) and emphasize those qualities.
via
There are different approaches to fashion and beauty ..no one is BETTER.. just different. What can we learn from one another?
Is she genuine?
Some say .. look! look at what I have! You want to be or live like me right? ..ME..I..
Other's say here is what I have, this is me. I like what you are wearing too.. and I like the way you have designed your kitchen.. what a great idea and I hadn't considered that! ..you and I..
SEE THROUGH IT..
She is sweet ... kind... and gives people the benefit of the doubt because she recognizes that most people mean well.
I remember moving years ago and having a neighbor say "Well, you are finally 'in' .. up on the hill" My reply was ..so does that mean everyone else is OUT? ...one up..
With the exception of a few, most people work hard for what they have.. whether that be a toned and healthy physique or a beautiful home set in paradise.
..because I don't want to get too serious here.. this is hilarious... the famous lighting competition between Martha May Whovier and Betty Lou http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJmvitqComk Remember this scene? So silly but.. {honestly} have you been on one or both sides?
She lives in luxury ... but doesn't exclude those that DON'T reside within her circle. She finds goodness in what other's have .. it's not all about her.
She's open and tries not to judge based on a first impression..
via
I appreciate the uniqueness of women at different stages of life and from different cultures... how they choose to dress, wear their hair, entertain, raise their children, or choose to decorate their home. It's fun to take it in all in, share ideas, encourage one another... and come up with YOUR own way... and be okay with that!
Do you know someone that's ONE UP?
Do you know someone that's ONE UP?
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead!
xx
leslie
my hair is always a mess, and i often don't wear 'the right' shoes so i am pretty approachable. i am also quick to tell you i don't have my s@#% together so i do ok. what i find funny is how blonde hair affects certain women. i am often underestimated and have learned how to make that work for me!
ReplyDeletewhatever you've got, you just have to work it!
smiles to you.
michele
Interesting about the blond perception Michele.. you are right (my daughter is blond, and is an accounting major!) Never judge a book by it's cover :)
DeleteThankfully I've never met anyone like that! I would secretly like to be a Stepford wife but I just don't have the skills.
ReplyDeleteI know many people like that!! My in-laws are like that. If they come to our house and see we have something new, they will have the same thing but bigger when we visit them, they don't like to be out done or something. I can't really stand it. We tend not to go around much. My mother-in law believes she knows everything about everything, but I think she just likes the sound of her own voice, haha. I'm just me at the end of the day, I do my best and if I mess up, I mess up. Things are perfect, my house isn't always as clean as I wish, but we are but human, so we shouldn't spend so much time worrying on those things, just enjoy life and what makes us happy :)) xx
ReplyDeleteThat's right! It is just YOU at the end of the day.. and that's unfortunate that your MIL creates an environment that's not welcoming. I think that, in her heart, she doesn't want you to feel that way :(
DeleteI can honestly say that if theres one quality I have its the ability to accept others for who they are regardless of the trappings. I really try to size up the person inside before I make a snap judgement of what they are about because of what they do or don't have. I think it first starts wiht being content, comfortable and authentic in your own skin.....then from there you generally go out and apply those same principles out in the world........interesting topic!
ReplyDeleteYes! .. start with yourself.. being comfortable in your own shoes.. :)
DeletePerhaps lack of confidence and overall insecurity is (in part) the reason why some women feel that have to compete with other women?
Yes...always concerned with what others think ... unfortunately my mom is an example, she doesn't compete but is insecure and shy and worries, I feel sad for her and as much as I try to convince her that is only important that she feels good about how she behaves with ohters and who she is she must justify to herself...and lucky she can always change herself for the better....but so far no help...maybe inside she knows...but I can see how that would cause in some people to be competitive...
DeleteSuch wonderful photos. Interesting topic. I feel like a lot of people are "put together", but as I say, "You never know what goes on the inside of their home".
ReplyDeleteAn interesting post which made me think! I agree that we need to be tolerant and not be too quick to judge people based on a first impression. I like to be surrounded by positive people and I think we all respond well to genuine compliments.
ReplyDeletehttp://missbbobochic.blogspot.co.uk/
Yes, tolerance of others and surrounding yourself with those that are genuine. Positive energy is so important!
DeleteMuy buenas imagenes. Un beso desde Murcia.
ReplyDeleteI know people like this but luckily I've never had to deal with them on that level. Maybe I'm not someone they ever cared to one up. Haha. In any case it's such an interesting topic. I often like to sit back and observe the behavior. Just happy to be looking from the sidelines :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday, Leslie! xoxo
The side lines is the place to be Dawn! Women would have so much more to gain if we were generally more forth-coming and supportive of each other :)
DeleteLuckily I have few friends/acquaintances that feel the need to one-up. Thankfully. I appreciate everyone's differences and always love being introduced to a new perspective.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a magnificent week!
You have a wonderful attitude. I agree! There is much to gain when we are open to a new perspective.
DeleteGreat post, great pics, well said. Beauty is a combination by lots of things and i believe that a smart mind can make you look more pretty. It is not just the looks!!!
ReplyDeleteBest Regards
Miss Margaret Cruzemark
http://margaretcruzemark.blogspot.com/
You are right on! It's about what's on the inside too. and being genuine!
Deletewomen should support each other, befriend each other, compliment each other. why do some feel better by trying to drag others down? having loyal, uplifting, positive women in our life is so essential. thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteSome say that women who drag others down are simply mirroring how they feel about themselves. It's no fun to be around someone that's always negative or critical of others. You are right .. It IS essential to find friends that are loyal and have a positive outlook on life.
DeleteVery wise, Leslie! I have seven sisters.....all very different and lots of drama growing up. Everyone has matured, and all is well now. I hope :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great week ~
xo
Loi
Oh Loi! All that estrogen!! I can just imagine..
DeleteReading your post, it comes to my mind this roosevelt quote:" Comparison is the thief of joy." ...and It's so unfair!!!, comparing ourselves to others...Every time we do this, we are putting into consideration, our inner person, against the outside of the other ... What we know about ourselves, against what we perceive of others ... and THIS is so UNFAIR!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Leslie..,you have chosen the most beautiful images to accompany these wonderful thoughts, thanks my friend!
Big hugs!
Inés
SimplyClassyMe.blogspot.com
..comparing our inner person, against the outside of the other.. well said Ines and you nailed it!! It IS so unfair..
DeleteWhat a great and inspirational post :)
ReplyDeleteXX,
Miranda
Great post, Leslie!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it human nature to want what you don't have? If you're short, you want to be tall. If you're brunett, you want to be blonde. Your friend has an iPhone, so you want one, too. It starts early in life and it continues....until you come to realize that happiness is not having things but being grateful for what you have. I'm a work in progress...I've been on both sides of this coin. Hopefully, I'm a better person today than I was yesterday. Growth....
Sorry, didn't mean to get all serious. Great post, I tell ya! :)
I turn 5.3. tomorrow and have learned so much over the years. You are so right! It IS human nature to want what you don't have. Hopefully by the time you have hit "mid life" you can recognize what truly matters. We are ALL a work in progress and I hope that we can all say that we GROW and become BETTER over time. Well said :)
DeleteI really do wonder what the world would be like if we looked like our personalities...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. I had to look through it a couple of times. I agree with gracefully I think it is our nature to want what we don't have or have a perception of things even if it isn't an accurate perception.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone is truly happy with what they have, even the ones that seem perfect. But I do like to look at all of those 'perfect' girls, it may be weird to say, but they give me something to aspire to :)
ReplyDeleteI felt like everyone was one upping me when my husband lost his 6 figure job. Let me say it's been 6 years and he has yet to get that salary back. It took me 5 years to (sad) find my own inner confidence, worth, ect. And realize no ones salary defines the kind of person they are. My husband is in ny with a new job and we are all moving soon. I hope to have financial success agian but this time I will appreciate it and not let it define me either way. It was a tough lesson to learn. Who we are and how we treat people is what matters...ofcourse if we can do it with beautiful hair, clothes...all the better!! Have a great day Leslie!!
ReplyDeleteYou are right, money shouldn't define anyone.. but it does for many unfortunately. Later in life, most people find that material things matter less and less. There is lots to learn in life time!
DeleteThat scene with Martha May is hilarious. Wouldn't those light-shooting-guns be wonderful at Christmas time?! This is such an important message. There is always going to be the "Up on the hill group." I smiled at your response. I never felt the need to one up anyone. I think anyone who feels they have to act that way is operating out of insecurity. xo
ReplyDeleteSuch a silly scene isn't it? :) I agree Debby.. personal insecurities aren't easy for some folks to over come.
DeleteOh Leslie...I LOVE this post...I think you learn so much over the years...what is really important and what really isn't...I honestly believe I have grown and I'm a better person...HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow...you look absolutely fabulous!
ReplyDeleteCatherine
xx
Great post! I thought girls trying to 'one-up' each other would end after high school. Sadly it hasn't.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Fashion and Beauty Finds
I do enjoy your insights so much. I think a little competition can be a positive thing if it pushes you to better yourself for your own sake but if you're just doing it to one up someone then it can be unhealthy. We should really be happy with what we have instead of comparing ourselves to others.
ReplyDeleteHope you're having a lovely week Leslie!
Rowena @ rolala loves
I think people do kind of look like their personalities though- like when you meet someone really pretty but they are as dull as a brick OR you meet someone plain and after you talk to them a while, they seem to light up a room. I don't know... I think eventually someone's personality takes over their face too!
ReplyDeleteFunny....something happened today that would fall into that category. "I'm busier and volunteering more than you"....that one was new to me! :)
ReplyDeleteSuffice it to say, I'm a big believer in spending time with people who light up when you enter the room. I think the best way to chose your friends is not what they say or what they do....but how they make you feel.
Thanks for the reminder to appreciating myself and others....just as we are!
xoxo Elizabeth
Wow.. what did you say to that one?!
DeleteI agree.. spend your time with friends that are genuine and are truly interested in your well being.
When my kids were in grade school I remember the PTSA women.. it was ridiculously competitive and I refused to take part in the silliness. Many seemed to prioritize "working" the PTSA over their family time. They were often away from their kids ..
Individuality is beautiful, being a sheep is not.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! I love "I wish people looked like their personalities." Now that's food for thought, for sure!
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful! People like you make me want to be better and certainly justify the desire for blogging ... taking a break from making my son's favourite kohlrabi sauce (: this was a good escape into one's mind.
ReplyDeleteNow, I dislike all the ONE up among parents ...who's child goes to better school / pre-school, who gets better this or that...it makes me almost suffocate if I was to be part of that. Luckily my Hungarian and South African girlfriends with same age kids in our neighbourhood are "normal" and always helpful....but it can be very strange if one takes part in such thing or comes close to that.
Those people can make me anxious ((:
Thank you for the wise words, that is what I want to hear!
hugs Z
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThose of us that have had kids, can probably relate to this.. Do you think these parents feel the need to boast because of their own personal lack of self confidence? I question how all the activities and monetary advantages help our kids in the long run.. Having grown kids now.. I will say that the parents that had those "exceptional" kids and the ones that went to the Ivy League schools (at this point) are not any better off than anyone else's kid. Some are kinda spoiled and don't have a good work ethic. A successful and balanced adult is the product of a loving home .. PERIOD. No amount of money or frills can replace that.
DeleteWe could have a long coffee over this! I wish (: Sometimes the parents live through the success of their kids and themselves may lack confidence, but often times, these moms I see are very competitive and the ONE up applies here just similarly to the funny video you posted as it seems to be a sport for them, competing with each other. Sometimes it starts before the kids are born (:
Deleteit is very nice to hear what you say about the loving home, that is my pride and confidence and all that matters to us too.
This is such wonderful food for thought! Confidence sometime exudes so much more than looks. I think it's best to focus on being a wonderful woman, someone to admire. It's funny what you mention about money - because I feel the different levels of importance in this depending on what town I live in at the moment. I've lived in at least 7 different cities and it really can vary from place to place. SOcal??? Huge. haha
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! If a woman is not sure of herself, maybe she is more likely to observe and/or compare herself to others (in attempt to figure out who she is). A woman that's comfortable with herself is generally confident too :)
Deletesuper fun post!
ReplyDeletexoxo navy & orange
Happy belated bday, Leslie! Just read your comment. How incredible that you and your brothers all share that same bday! xoxo
ReplyDeletebeautiful pictures!
ReplyDeleteXO
www.aroundlucia.com
www.aroundlucia.com
This was a wonderful post accompanied by great visuals! I liked the bit you said about liking women for who they are in different stages of their lives from different cultures. I think that's a beautiful point. We'd all be better served to appreciate ourselves and our lives for the changes that come with time. A body of wear and tear is just a sign of life well lived.
ReplyDeleteJust read your comment above! Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY Leslie!! hope you had a great day - you so deserve it! Love this post! One of the things that I love about you is that you 'keep it real' and know what's important in life. Your posts about women are so accurate and insightful - keep em coming!
ReplyDeleteLots of Love,
Sharon
xxxx
Leslie, thought provoking post! I never understood why some ladies were so competitive. I found with age, I don't have time for drama in my life. I love to be with friends who have kind hearts and are giving to each other. Living in So. Calif. the competitive nature runs strong, money, how you look, what car you drive. Shoot, if just more people would think about improving their inner selves this world would be a better place.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true! Why is nobody doing a reality show (actualy I don't know if there is one) about inner self!? (:
DeleteI mention the reality show because what seems to be out there is so silly...and right up the alley of being competitive and superficial.
Lovely, entertaining and interesting post Leslie! xo caroline
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post Leslie which I enjoyed reading along with all the comments.
ReplyDeleteBeing in my early fifties I have seen all this nonsense in different situations over the years. Unfortunately there are many insecure people out there.
xx
oh Leslie what a wonderful post iv read it through and ur comments and i want to say thank u. something u said stuck wit me ' be comfortable in ur own shoes'. Im just constantly hard on myself and am tryin to improve my attitude and this just struck me and am using it as my mantra.so big thank u. u said other really useful stuff too u should write a book. my friends and i thank god don't really do one up manship i think we have all been through a lot and have grown up together although i do notice when it comes to there children it can get competitive having no children i can stand back and see what goes on. i hope u had a wonderful birthday Leslie u look so amazing u really do. many many happy returns of the day. have a great weekend big kiss from Dublin xx leonie.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Leslie...a message worth sharing! thank you:-)
ReplyDeleteFiona xx
i think we all have that "one up" friend - i especially meet these people when i go on business trips (i usually turn on my heels and run the other way) - i'm NOT that way at all - and i'm a gal who LOVES someone who has 'more' then me - i love going to their ginormous designer homes, driving in there insanely expensive cars, trying on their bling ect, going in their private planes, or seeing their insanely tight bodies or fabulous hair - of course i'd love to have all of it too .... i use to get down that i didn't 'have it all' - but now i'm actually really happy with what i have and i'm beyond gracious for it
ReplyDeleteI don't like "one uppers" at all. My mom has a friend for years that always is in competition with her but the odd thing is that the competition is totally one sided. My mom was unaware for years until others pointed it out. Sometimes those types are people just aren't healthy to be around. Hope you have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteJayme @ Her Late Night Cravings
Great post Leslie! I wish people looked like their personalities, too! I'm not competitive at all - the only rule I live by is Kurt Vonnegut's: “There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
ReplyDeleteLove fluff and fripperies' comment. I always try and give women the benefit of the doubt, especially on the school yard where everyone is tired and frazzled. We're all just trying to do the best we can, in the end.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie,
ReplyDeletewonderful post and I always enjoy coming to visit you and the wisdom you share.
I do think we need to be happy with who we are and what we have been gifted and make the most of everyday.
Happy belated birthday, and wishing you a wonderful year ahead.
Hugs
Carolyn
Competition between women is fierce (drawing from my experiences). I hated high school, I attended an all girls high school and it was brutal. Even though I may have been one of the popular girls, I just wasn't competitive, I didn't care about a lot of the things I was 'supposed' to care about. It's made me stronger though and today I pretty much march to the beat of my own drum :) I find blogging great because most of the women I've met through my blog (like you, Leslie) are just so genuine, individual and inspiring xoxox
ReplyDeleteI love this post you portrayed an important message in such a beautiful way. Sometimes competition pushes us along and makes us strive to be better, but true friends should always be real and happy for you we should be happy for them to. The real secret is loving and accepting yourself with all your flaws because that is the real beautiful you!
ReplyDeletexo
Sharon
You're amazing... what a cool post about something that really means something...
ReplyDeleteCindy
Wow what a great post!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting to read :)
xxx
loving all the fun pics and words in this post :) inspiring! and tell me that is your adorable dog and you in the side bar? spaniels have my heart :)
ReplyDeletegreat inspirations like the one with the vw bus most!
ReplyDeleteaw, well he's the cutest, i'll keep my eye out for more pictures :) i have a brown cocker spaniel :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDelete3 words LOVE YOUR STYLE :)
I'm an instant follower of you now :)
Please feel free to check out my blog if you have the time
p.s Do you want to win a Snake Wrap Earring?! Enter my giveaway!
Love,
Janice
the-fashion-milkshake.blogspot.com
Your posts are always so inspiring Leslie and I love that you talk about competition between women because while I think trying your best is important it's so true that women can start to feel bad about themselves, which is never fun. :( I really like the images too, especially the one with the tennis racket :)
ReplyDeletexoDale
what an amazing blog u have! Love all these beautiful photos:) would u like to follow each other? http://brookesbliss.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteLeslie, I know I left a comment on this post, but some how its gone! Just wanted to let you know that I thought this was a great post. Life is just to short for any jealousy or meanness. I try to be around people who are encouraging and think of others.
ReplyDeleteLeslie,
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It's very easy as women to get caught up in this one up stuff. It can be with your kids or your home or clothes or whatever. As a young mom I felt this a lot and worried about such things. It is also the people you hang out with that create these feelings. I now gravitate towards down-to-earth and kind people. I like people who keep it real and admit they don't have it together either.
That's the key finding good friends and loving yourself and what you have.
Hope you had a great birthday! No wonder I love your blog...I am a virgo too.
xo
Kim
Leslie,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. A wise friend of mine once said that when someone is mean or hurts your feelings they probably don't realize they're doing it and if they do it may because they're jealous. That has helped me give people the benefit of the doubt in most situations. I also stay closest to the friends that I know (like my dogs) love me warts and all. :-)
Karen